this … this may be … the greatest photo of all time. each time i see this wonderfully terrifying pic, i think all that’s holy that i didn’t click that little ‘delete’ button when it first popped on my screen. the joy that this photo has brought over the past five years is unmeasurable. the tears of laughter that have rolled down many ‘a faces, priceless. the jokes, the gibes ...
okay, a little history. it’s the summer of 2010. i’ve just spent four months in praha … eating fantastic tomatoes sandwiches and drinking crazy-cheap and crazy-delicious dark beer to the point that those 15 extra pounds i took home with me were totally worth it. the family’s up in canada on our yearly trip. we’re fishing. my mom, being my mom, packed her always present box of cheez-its. me, being me, got tired of fishing and decided a wee snack was a wish choice. roy, being roy, caught a fish. dad, being a good little papa, took a pic. as the shutter snapped, i heard him say “this, this will be the next family christmas card.” we all went on our merry way.
fast forward a few weeks. i’m at home downloading the photos. this pops up. i squint. what the? Who the hell is that? what? wait? me? that’s me? there’s a gasp of what?? shock? horror? pity? my finger dives for the delete key. pause. it hovers. wait … this …. this photo is too horrendous. too terrifying … too … too … perfect to delete.
i called my mom over. she looks at the photo. looks at me. and laughs. tears rolling down her face for, quiet possibly, the next 20 minutes. my dad walks in and peers at the computer screen. who’s that? He asks. ha! your daughter, dad! from your own flesh and blood! you spawned that beastly creature at the bow of the boat!
she’s been dubbed the “ugly step-sister that lives in the attic” that my folks only let out for special occasions. there’s no way she’s me. that’s no physically possible for someone to look so different … to be so largely transformed. i say it’s the angle of the fish head. it’s warping my seemingly large … large … round … puffy face.
this photo has been fondly named The Cheez-it Pic. it is reference often in my family. it’s been recreated (to no luck) by friends and family far and wide. it’s used as a motivational tool – you’ll never look as bad as that … it’s used as a magic trick – see this here optical illusion? it’s used as a conservation starter – wanna see the time my head exploded.
you’d like i’d delete it. it is, quite possibly, the world’s most unflattering photo. but the joy, the laughter, the jokes that it brings to a conversation and will continue to bring ... worth it. totally worth it.
okay, a little history. it’s the summer of 2010. i’ve just spent four months in praha … eating fantastic tomatoes sandwiches and drinking crazy-cheap and crazy-delicious dark beer to the point that those 15 extra pounds i took home with me were totally worth it. the family’s up in canada on our yearly trip. we’re fishing. my mom, being my mom, packed her always present box of cheez-its. me, being me, got tired of fishing and decided a wee snack was a wish choice. roy, being roy, caught a fish. dad, being a good little papa, took a pic. as the shutter snapped, i heard him say “this, this will be the next family christmas card.” we all went on our merry way.
fast forward a few weeks. i’m at home downloading the photos. this pops up. i squint. what the? Who the hell is that? what? wait? me? that’s me? there’s a gasp of what?? shock? horror? pity? my finger dives for the delete key. pause. it hovers. wait … this …. this photo is too horrendous. too terrifying … too … too … perfect to delete.
i called my mom over. she looks at the photo. looks at me. and laughs. tears rolling down her face for, quiet possibly, the next 20 minutes. my dad walks in and peers at the computer screen. who’s that? He asks. ha! your daughter, dad! from your own flesh and blood! you spawned that beastly creature at the bow of the boat!
she’s been dubbed the “ugly step-sister that lives in the attic” that my folks only let out for special occasions. there’s no way she’s me. that’s no physically possible for someone to look so different … to be so largely transformed. i say it’s the angle of the fish head. it’s warping my seemingly large … large … round … puffy face.
this photo has been fondly named The Cheez-it Pic. it is reference often in my family. it’s been recreated (to no luck) by friends and family far and wide. it’s used as a motivational tool – you’ll never look as bad as that … it’s used as a magic trick – see this here optical illusion? it’s used as a conservation starter – wanna see the time my head exploded.
you’d like i’d delete it. it is, quite possibly, the world’s most unflattering photo. but the joy, the laughter, the jokes that it brings to a conversation and will continue to bring ... worth it. totally worth it.
 | ||||||
| but wait, taken a mere day later ... normal! |
 |
| can never be recreated ... |
i'm trying something new this month - i love me a good challenge - and joining Chasing Happy for The Thankful Project. while i can't promise a post-a-day, maybe i'll get close? today's prompt - a photo.
Bwaahahaha!!! This post made me laugh!! Thank you for that!!! It's great when you have a photo that you can look at with your family and laugh so hard you make your stomach hurt!!
ReplyDeleteHa! Thanks for the note :D Agreed, you gotta have these moments where you can just laugh and admit it wasn't your best. Funny is always more fun ...!
Delete